On September 30, I proposed to my friend that we should use the month of October as a practice round before Nanowrimo. Now, we’re at the halfway mark and nowhere near where we should be. I counted my words last night, lo and behold I was under 4000 words. Almost half of those words came from last night.
I discovered that Pintrest has writing prompts and they are so fun to write! But that doesn’t help my novels >_>
I have about two weeks to write 46k words, and doubt is sitting heavily in me. On my wall, above my desk I pinned a paper with my word counts on it. Maybe this will keep me on target.
The realization of my love of writing hit me hard last night. Exhaustion had my head reeling back and forth but still I wanted to write; I needed to write. From a two word prompt, a whole new world was fleshed out before me and I needed to get it onto paper.
I’m sure others have felt this way, but this is the first time that I was enraptured so deeply.
Also, I discovered that I write more when I write first on paper (with my beloved fountain pen) and then type it up. When typing, the words flow easier, I find myself correcting sentences without a thought. Since it is already written, I just have to backtrack, kind of like Hansel and Gretel finding their way home following the little pebbles. My other analogy was going to be about yarn (it’s either yarn or books with me -_-) but I’ll leave it at that.
On the other hand, I began to reread the Gunslinger and I’m falling in love with the book all over again. My friend, after this past semester, gave me a copy. I’m so thrilled! Now I have in my collection, the first, last and 4.5 books (now that was an awesome find).
Turns out I have more boxes of books and notebooks than clothes, and of course, my books aren’t the little thin ones but huge, bulky monsters (my babies). My dad always threatens to throw them out because he hates moving them (I can barely left the boxes myself, thus require his assistance ^-^;).
But back to Pintrest, there are some amazing quotes from writers. One that kind of sucker-punched me in the face was one by Erica Jong, “All writing problems are psychological problems. Blocks usually stem from the fear of being judged. If you imagine the world listening, you’ll never write a line. That’s why privacy is so important. You should write first drafts as if they will never be shown to anyone.” (Can you feel the power?) This quote changed my perspective on things, it might sound cliché, but it really did. That was just last night. Most of my fears (if not all my fears) gravitate towards the idea of someone reading my writing and either hating it or me. You can’t let those fears get to you, what you need to do is arm yourself with a shotgun and blast those fears away.
The main reason I don’t write my stories is because they are all written in my head. I can replay scenes, rewrite them, replace them all with a thought. That was all I needed, I had my stories and it was alright if no one ever knew them, but writing….writing is so beautiful, and it amazes me once I stop writing and give my aching hand a rest how much I had written. I did that.
If you think about it, every action produces an equal and opposite reaction. So many years reading could only lead to one outcome, what you take in must come out.
So whenever you doubt yourself, just remember: you are you and no one can write the way you do.